On Friday, I was invited to a round table meeting/discussion on mental health in Doncaster and nationally by Ed Miliband’s office.
The discussion would be with Ed and Alastair Campbell (who does a lot for mental health awareness), along with other people from mental health organisations, including Mind and Andy’s Man Club.
Firstly, I was quite happy that Mental Health FC had received an invite, especially when I saw who the other organisations were and the status of them.
(My thoughts on the discussion and how it went are further down)
In terms of the meeting, I was quite anxious in the day about it, but as the day went on, I actually felt more relaxed and confident about it.
I arrived early because I didn’t know what the traffic was going to be like with schools just finishing.
When parking up, I saw someone from Andy’s Man Club (Lucas, who is head of partnerships at AMC), so I introduced myself and we walked in together, at the time, this actually made me feel more relaxed as it was taking my mind off things, and I knew a nice guy was going into the discussion with me.
We got told to wait in the lobby area, and Ed and Alastair had just got back from another event as we were waiting, we all shook hands, introduced ourselves, and it was going well.
More people started arriving, quite a few who weren’t family faces, I was carrying a lot, and the room was very hot, this is when anxiety started to creep in.
I was just wanting to get the discussion going to try and take my mind off things, we weren’t waiting long, but it felt like ages.
We all went into the room, and the discussion started, it was going well, but I felt it was fairly intense, it was quite warm, I was in warm clothes and I didn’t have a sense of time and when it was finishing.
I started to go quiet, less engaged in the chat, as I was thinking about my anxiety, the worsening symptoms, and it just got worse, being hot just escalated things.
In the end, I had to step out of the room to be near the toilet because I felt sick and needed to cool down.
In the year couple of years I’ve been ok at events and meetings, but I think because it wasn’t a big event where I knew I could quietly sneak out if needed without anyone knowing, and it wasn’t a 1 on 1 meeting where I was fully engaged in the chat and couldn’t think about anxiety.
It was in the middle, and I was worried about getting up to go outside as I knew the focus and spotlight would be on me which made things worse, there was no getting around it.
Luckily, it was finishing anyway, and I managed to go back into the room to have photos before coming back outside to cool and try and calm down.
Many of the people stopped to ask if I was ok, which was nice, I was quite embarrassed having gone through an anxiety attack in front of people and strangers, even though I know they understand, it still felt awful to go through it with people there.
I prefer to go through stuff like that on my own, so others don’t see me in that way, but this time unfortunately, it couldn’t be prevented.
Ed came out to see if I was ok, and then Alastair did.
I never met Alastair before, we were strangers to each other, but the way he was with me, helping me and supporting me, is something I’ll remember forever.
He was asking about my anxiety, how to calm it and if there was anything he could do.
We went back into the meeting room so I could get my stuff, and Lucas was in the room, I spoke to them both about my anxiety and when I have anxiety attacks. Because I was talking and engaging, it was starting to bring me back around a bit.
I then felt ok to ask Alastair if I could get a photo with him and if he could sign the shirt for my office, which he was happy to do.
I then went to my car, and Alastair was very concerned about me driving home, I was planning to drive home, but I knew it wasn’t the best idea when having an anxiety attack, as you feel dizzy, sick and driving tends to make it worse, and you know it isn’t easy to stop sometimes.
I just want to be home, in my safe space and cool.
Alastair insisted on driving me home, and so between himself and Lucas, they decided that Alastair to drive me home in my car, with Lucas following, so that Lucas could then drive Alastair back to Ed’s office.
And that’s exactly what they did, Alastair didn’t have to do anything of that for me, he didn’t have to stay with me and make sure I was ok, and he certainly didn’t have to drive me home.
As we were in the car waiting for Lucas to arrive to follow us, the anxiety attack started to creep in again, with me feeling sick, my breathing changing and dizziness, I was very worried about if I was sick in the car while Alastair was driving.
But I’m not sure if it was on purpose or he was just interested, but Alastair was asking me a lot of questions, and it certainly helped to engage me, take my mind off things and come round again.
With his mental health awareness history and the way he was with me throughout, I do think he was intentionally asking questions to help.
It was the right decision to drive me home and I’m very grateful.
Regardless of your stance on politics…. WHAT A GUY…… WHAT A HUMAN!!!! 🙌💚
And of course, a huge thank you to Lucas for your support and help as well 😊
The next day I woke up with a tension headache and feeling knocked in confidence, but thankfully after some tablets, by dinner time the headache had gone and my confidence was starting to build back up.
Anxiety attacks can come on and escalate quickly, during them, it’s awful and it feels never ending, however just as quickly as they come on, if you know how to help yourself, they can stop just as quickly as they start.
Once in my safe space and doing things to come me down I was feeling ok, although I had some lasting effects that night and the next day.
If you can learn about how to make yourself calm and try and put them in place as quickly as possible, it will either avoid the anxiety attack or make it shorter in duration.
‼️THE MENTAL HEALTH DISCUSSION….
In terms of the discussion, it was such a powerful discussion…. what a group of people and organisations.
We truly have some fantastic people in Doncaster who care and want the best for Doncaster people and their mental health.
Regardless of age, gender, religion, race, nationality etc, we all just wanted to help break the stigma, share awareness and be there to support the people who needed it and improve their mental health.
IF the organisations can get access to enough funding and support to operate at full capacity and to the best of their abilities, then Doncaster should be in a much better place with mental health in the future 🙏
Together, we were good at identifying the problems and good ideas in how to go about reducing the stigma and helping and supporting everyone who needs it, we just needed more support to achieve this.
It’s a process of removing the stigma, getting people comfortable enough to come forward and seek help, be able to correctly diagnose them, give them the best support possible and always be there for them, for both the highs and the lows, but the final goal is to see them improve mentally and enjoy and live life.
This hopefully spreads throughout family, friends, colleagues and communities, so we can improve as many people in the city as possible.
THANK YOU to Ed Miliband’s office for the invite, thank you to all the people at the table for their incredible work and determination for mental health in Doncaster, thank you to Lucas for your help and support, and most of all, thank you to Alastair!! 🙌💚
‼️Alastair has kindly joined as a supporter of Mental Health FC (click here to see the full list of people who support MHFC)
People in attendance (Click the organisation name to be taken to their website):
Alastair Campbell
Ed Miliband
Myself – Mental Health FC CIC
Lucas Whitehead – Andys Man Club
James Woods – Citizens Advice Doncaster Borough
Glynn Butcher & Kelly Hicks – People Focused Group
Hannah Lee – Be Well Doncaster
Laura Arthur & Helen Milicevic – Doncaster Mind
Mark Jackson – Andy’s Man Club & The Jackson Hope Foundation
#AnxietySucks #MentalHealthMatters #MHFC
